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Good Morning ‘Kamp’ers,

More alternative angles on the metro news and tube inhabitants.

Africa given a voice at last. Their own concert in Cornwall, now shut the feck up!

Not even past the first scribble and the rather confident looking thirty something opposite is looking at me. White flowy skirt, flip flops and legs that have seen the solarium but not the gym. First sneer has come and gone and before I’ve regained my composure she looks me up and down again, this time holding her gaze at my metro notes. I wonder what she’s thinking? “What is that specky guy doing making notes on the edge of the metro, does he not realise that black is definitely not this years black”. “He’s got lovely big hands though and licks his lips provocatively”.

I think she’s my feminine side and I question whether she is real or that my desire for such a ‘personality disturbed’ partner has created an illusion on the Piccadilly line at Hillingdon(Swakeleys). I always though I had a beautiful mind and now I have the hallucinations too. I decide to call her Dyke Harmony, in keeping with the peace initiative theme. “Sainsbury’s bag for god sake, a big man like that should have Hackett or something, loser! He needs taking in hand”. I’m always open to offers dear.

Arsenal striker Robin van Persie is kept in custody over rape allegation. That’s a nice name, when I get banned from this forum (today if this continues) I’m gonna use that, Camp Persie – yeah has a good feel. Minister fingered by new drug test. Tory politician must have had a joint before he demo’d new drug test because he tested positive for cannabis. I’d like to think they’d find some really interesting stuff all over Harmony. Reminds me of some great Magazine lyrics from Cut out shapes.

We met at a psychiatric unit
she was in for having habits no one else would try
She didn't know what she was in control of
she had all the advantages of magic no one could deny.

Doesn’t sound quite the same with ‘we met at a Tube station in Middlesex’.

Blair arms himself for battle with EU leaders. He’s armed himself with cutting insults taken from a famous Monty Python sketch. Finishing off with his main weapon ‘Big Fat Belgian Bastards’. Signed first edition of Mein Kampf bought by anonymous British buyer for £23,800. Absolute snip at 24 grand after I left a small tip, look out for my upcoming review of this book focusing on the ‘bit I’ve read so far’ detailing the authors informative years in Vienna.

New fathers deserve a month off after childbirth. Why, why not after conception that was harder work. Telegram from the Queen would be good, “Good lad, that’s ones boy!!!”. Having so much fun this morning I’ve just realised my MP3 has reached the end. Hammersmith needs Boy Sets Fire. Cannot print lyrics - http://www.lyricsdownload.com/boy-sets-fire-the-tyranny...ne-knows-lyrics.html . After all that exhausting effort with fat bitch, I don't anticipate any cards (viz thanks for the great impregnating shag) again this year.

Thought I’d describe my new friends in the carriage this morning. Only those opposite L to R. Attractive blond (former country girl) avec ring, Chinese dribbler, MP3 zombie boy (seek compensation boy, there's 10m going), Indian Dribbler, Cornwall festival goer, Chinese girl nice nails – two empty spaces. Filled at Barons Court by Floral Whale and mother with schoolgirl on knee. Better turn down Deftones (7 words) – eek! Lost Harmony somewhere, I’m sure she’ll be back.

Book watching: Terry Pratchet – The amazing Maurice and his educated rodents. Henning Mankell – The Dogs of Riga. Sounds like the latter might be worth a few bob in about 80 years. Pretentious Bag : Chocolaterie.

Once you’ve mastered the art of always being behind somebody desirable (young J Lopez in suit today) on the escalator, you can take it a stage further. Choose the level to stand at which you would desire your lips to be, belly button for me this morning, or more accurately Latino lumbar 4.

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