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Here’s Johnny!

An alternative look at the metro news and the tube clientele.

F1asco. F1 in crisis as 9 teams pull out of US GP. It’s f’ing dangerous I would. What is an ASCO, sounds like bad behaviour anti-social action.

Gays scared to come out to GP’s. BMA suggests ways to make us feel comfy about coming out. “Mr Camp for Dr Raj, consulting room 1”, “Good morning isn’t it Mr Campy, oooh shut that door.” “Backs to the wall boys, look at the muck in ‘ere – isn’t it?”

5 steps for criminals - get in, in lounge, in bedroom, TV, get out. Odd order don’t you think? “In the early hours of Friday morning a big bloke in drag was apprehended in the bedroom of a house in Uxbridge. His accomplice was caught in possession of the family TV in a van parked outside. Upon questioning, he said ‘I told the big silly tart it was not an important step in nicking TV’s, but he was obsessed with following the plan he had hatched from a poster he saw at Baker Street’. The mastermind, Mr Camp also of Uxbridge was remanded in custody where he was being treated for size 11 stiletto induced blisters.

I watched the lead up to Wimbledon and couldn’t help thinking about how feminine Sharapova was and how butch Serena was. Imagine a night with Serena though, big hands, strong forearms, hoover lips, lay back close your eyes and think of Maria - all over her in no time.

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