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Good morning ‘Camp’ers.

A superficial look at the metro news stories together with odd behavioural observations.

Soya and Beer harm fertility. Women warned that they can harm the chances of having a baby. So can the contraceptive pill girls, so start putting the f'ing thing in your mouths and not in your ear. Faria, smashing dress – good idea to turn up at a tribunal with your tits hanging out Darling claiming to be sexually harassed. I don’t blame him, mitigating circumstances. Glastonbury Fab. British greenhouse gas emissions rise. Shut the door and keep them in the greenhouse.

Men, have more sex if you want super-sperm. What if you can’t get it but still want to be a super-spermer? Got to balance out the benefits against the vision disturbances. Women who become pregnant using donated eggs have increased (x3) risk of hypertension vs conventional IVF. 90% of hypertension is idiopathic which means the bloody idiotpaths don’t know what causes it. What is it about these demonic donated eggs that have such a profound effect on the renin-angiotensin system? Is this research worth asking French farmers to contribute towards?

Met spookily quiet this morning on the behaviour front, perhaps I’ve become obsessed with cardiovascular action?

Football match between Kurds and Asians in Newcastle ended in a brawl; afterwards friends of Asian players turned up and beat the Kurds with sticks. Come on guys we use baseball bats in this country, uptnorth.

Bakerloo southbound platform, just missed a train so time to go see Miss ‘R&B Massive’ again. She looked cleaner today after my efforts yesterday and I had time to read the rest of the poster. Double album with people I’d never heard of and presumably would not like to be associated with. I’d have to get someone to go into the shop and buy it for me, they could have the CD’s but I’d keep the cover to cat groom at my leisure.

City Lawyer quits after ketchupgate. The one who sent the e-mail requesting 4 quid for cleaning. A bit over the top asking for money, he should have handled it at the time, like with any girl causing a mess on/in your trousers, now clean it up bitch.

Grapefruit pulls men. The scent of a grapefruit takes six years off a woman. A sensory expert smeared middle-aged women with bananas, broccoli, spearmint and lavender but found grapefruit the best. This sounds like research the farmers would be willing to give up a few billion for.

Curvy girl is my escalator partner today. I’d taken a step back and some guy tries to muscle in on the action. No way dude, I take a step forward again. Perhaps it’s best as I had been a little forward in going south so early in affairs.

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