230605

Good morning ‘Camp’ers.

Another alternative look at the metro news from today and the tube inhabitants.

Had an experience in the shower this morning. You know Tesco etc do loads of smelly, coloured shower gels; well one has appeared in my shower. Bright red and called rejuvenate. Well I’m splashing it everywhere, having fun and I noticed the white tiled walls of the shower were dripping with red, I redirected the shower spray away from the apparent carnage, emptied the bottle and had me a psycho moment.

Britain was moonstruck last night – the moon appeared twice the size of usual due to trick of eye. Doesn’t it make you want to take all your clothes off and dance around Eros with a dozen naked foreign Dilly boys? Pollution alerts by mobile phone, pollution level warnings for asthma/heart sufferers via your mobile. Can I have warnings of my body being polluted with testosterone, or maybe for other tube travellers that my levels are out of control, again?

Gucci ‘bangle watch’ girl gets on at Ruislip, tanned legs, and striped shorts suggesting strapping thighs. Takes shades off and finishes make-up, preferred her with shades on which she again dons and begins to read. Lovely hands but she’s got squared off French manicured nails, pointy nails look better don’t you think boys and there’s more of a hint of potential damage. In her area opposite, an Oriental stick insect and well-groomed Indian woman are joined by dull woman with plethora of finger metal – someone loves her lots. I think a fat ugly bloke. I have plain ginger woman with freckly big legs.

Call centre staff sell bank details. PIN numbers etc are being sold from thousands of accounts managed through Indian call centres. I wondered what the Bombay tandoori was doing on my bank statement. Faria showing 'em off again, “you want some dirty deeds”, yeaaggghh. Breakthrough in brain research – takes only one human brain cell to recognise people. I’d like about 30 of Gucci girls cells, the ones identifying all her quality friends in Ruislip. Keep me busy for a few nights.

Fat bloke sits next to me and is eclipsing view of opposite seating area, which now has small sexy looking Indian girl and skinny white girl completing the six. He’s playing with his palm top, I bet that’s not all he has to play with. Keep your eyes of G-girl mate.

“Blood sugar sucker fish in my dish, how many pieces do you wish?” she’s magic. “Glorious euphoria is my must, Erotic shock is a function of lust”. “Blood sugar baby, she has it ..”. Ooooooh that was nice, *repeat track*. “Blood sugar bad girl, she’s magic”. [Blood, sugar, sex magic – Chilli Peppers]. Pregnant woman better not require seat just yet.

Teacher who seduced boy escapes jail. Now 19 he says ‘I was young and naïve and thought I was living every schoolboys fantasy but it turned into a living hell for me’. YEAH RIGHT.

Lose Gucci girl in the throng at Baker Street. Couldn’t get the contents of her striped shorts out of my head so no elevator play today. Off at the Dilly, amused by Tiamat (whatever that hurts) lyrics down Regent Street - what are those guys on?

CD 230605