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Good morning ‘Camp’ers,

A little look at today’s news and a large look at those reading it.

Olympics fab. Green shower gel called ‘wake-up’ has appeared and was quite nice but I was awake already. Wandered over the A40 Bridge, Inertia going in and nothing going out – London’s full I think. It would have been a walk over if Beaconsfield or the Chalfonts had put in an Olympic bid.

Booth is full of women by Harrow on the Hill. Opposite is plain woman with flat what look like round end school shoes with strap and buckle. I have noticed an alarming trend for these very unflattering things, nothing wrong with pointy and high, shows off shapely legs best. Tall and full figured oriental girl next with long hair down to L4, big hands suggesting all is not as it perhaps seems. Next to the Laydee is ugly girl, make an effort dear. Next to me is very small Asian girl, very pretty and lovely fingers and nails – CD gives mental round of applause. Isn’t kissing small hands in public romantic? Next to her is fat white legs from which it seems impossible to avert my gaze or stop thinking of gooseberries. Woman in sit-stand place by the single door is putting her make-up on, full face and full marks for making an effort. I think ugly girl should get up and let her sit down, but she is clearly not telepathic or maybe not receptive to psychic cursing ‘get up bitch’.

Blair supports ‘rant’ adviser. Ms Casey – Get rid of her and get 18 stone of idiot. Angel Dust on MP3, what have Faith no more got to add today?

I think I need me a new bag; it’s been a good one though, lasted about two weeks. You know sometimes (even with new ones) when the pens start to break through and create Tesco porcupine, it’s downhill fast, the holes just get bigger and bigger and the whole thing just falls to pieces. “This is what all things come to, come to pieces in our hands”.

See you tonight girls, you - try harder and you - get a bic.

Man with tea cosy on head is ahead on stairs at Baker St, fermenting dreads. Spy reflection in window, does this (inappropriate for today’s weather) summary shirt make my belly look big? Don’t be stupid you just need a beer.

Bakerloo is fairly full but waiting for some reason, idiots waiting just outside doors so can’t get on. Move a few carriages up and find a way through, moved down the carriage to allow people on, and observed. 4 small chests, nice presentation, yeah life’s alright after all. “Squash me, until I’m smaller and smaller and smaller”. A few gift rapped A’s get off at Oxford Street but at least I get a seat.

Trecky trousers and flip flops just not doing it for me on the escalator but spy desirable lumbar region running in parallel. All my manoeuvring skills required and manage to get in pole position on second escalator. Was worth it had me a ‘Massive R&B girl’ imaginary cat grooming experience.

By the time this was written, the news had broke and maybe it’s not funny anymore. Take care everyone. Had the opportunity to talk to Stephen Trainee at Thistle Charing Cross, thanks mate I enjoyed that. Steve, I was the pissed one with the tesco bag, I couldn't get rid it's like an old friend.

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