280705

Morning ‘Camp’ers,

"… the box was no sooner opened, than all these ills flew out, in the guise of horrid little brown-winged creatures, closely resembling moths. These little insects fluttered about, alighting, some upon Epimetheus, who had just entered, and some upon Pandora, pricking and stinging them most unmercifully. They then flew out through the open door and windows, and fastened upon the merrymakers without, whose shouts of joy were soon changed into wails of pain and anguish."

Hacked off with propaganda ridden, apologist metro giving space to men with beards. Looked briefly beyond first 5 pages of shite to find that giant squid are cannibals, even eating each other on the job. You couldn’t trust me with a giant beak either. Interview with Mark E Smith – Hello sir. Fast forwards MP3 to Fall section and is instantly amused by “sarcastic tone-deaf ranting and minimalist art-noise”. Did you kill Nigel Kennedy in the end mate?

Jamie dishes up help to Africans, he’s training two guys from South Africa to cook. Idea is so that they can go home and pass on their skills, or stay in London restaurant more likely and bollocks to starvation - anyway some of these English birds need fattening up. Better idea, send them all the crap school dinners Jamie.

Before I have noticed it my booth is full of Asian guys, all trained in Anti-Mujahadeen techniques involving sitting in vacant seats, not staring at white people and reading the metro.

I was Sarah says 30 year old man - who married a 70 year old granny. He says it’s an ordinary life and whoever gets up first (him or Gran) chooses the nicks and puts out two pairs. Well the second pair will be useful to stick on your head to cover up your breve mate. What other thoughts have you received through the organ on your forehead?

Walking down Baker St I recalled that a few days ago, I think Tuesday 26th, I saw loads of horses trotting down Oxford St, circa 8am. Must have been about 60 of them, 20% down on usual no doubt? Can you imagine the discussion in the field early that morning? “Look Ed there’s no way I’m going down town looking in the shops today, you never know what might happen. I could be trotting down Oxford St and completely without reason I might bolt and jump the Bond St ticket barriers, and I don’t understand a word of English. Besides see that Italian looking mare with small hoves over there, she’s got her oriental twin filly coming over this afternoon”. I believe neither of them wears saddlecloths.

Walking across Marylebone Road, I reduce pace to follow lovely jeans with metal chain type belt. What a waste of a good restraint. Reed 20K, you’re having a laugh, Bairstow eves - how much? Who would pay that to live in this shithole? I get to Portman square and my eyes are strangely drawn across the road to large chested girl, I wonder how she stays upright? My gaze lowers and I find impressive counter balance on reverse side. I saw a pair of fishnets yesterday and followed onto the train, fine wobbly chest too – nice presentation. I wonder if the fishnets are part of nicer presentation or just cheap window dressing?

Selfridges male Mannequin displaying Dior evening Jacket, looks a bit poofy and has pearl string dangling from top pocket. Could work at parties but I prefer Black feather Boa. http://www.ostrichesonline.com/. Round of applause for Fenwicks window display, I gave up seeing Mia to come down here (New Bond St) and it is worth it boys. D&G display also quality.

Further down I though of a great chat up line/tactic for quality birds, bit expensive but you get what you pay for afterall. Stand outside Jimmy Choos and await inevitable passing of quality ladies, “shoes for shag love”? They have a half price sale, might only cost you £400. Conduit St - Kinzia, smashing evening frocks, small firm chests tastefully displayed but no head. OK perhaps not appropriate on a first date.

So many police at all the stations today, bloody marvellous but can we have less uniform for the WPCs please?

CD 280705