150805

Morning ‘Camp’ers,

Been AWOL for a week or so, research – well OK lazy shit. Back to bring you snippets of alternative news and London early morning life.

Yesterday Swakeleys, brown vision, strapless top with required adequate strapless support. She’s such a tease standing so far away down the platform, looks like I’ll have to go and have closer inspection. Absolutely gorgeous, glossed lips, small face, well everything small except voluptuousness. She works out, slim strong arms and filthy clavicles. She sits at the end of one booth and I at the end of the next booth diagonally opposite, a discrete ogling distance away.

Bloody metro’s useless, never mind I’ll make the news up. She’s glancing up from time to time, “now that’s man sized”. Thanks love, I wonder to myself - is gravity being obeyed today? Birkenstock presentation of small feet, how thoughtful of the Germans to consider normal sized people.

Gay Dalek molests punters in pub. Drunken, gay alien barred from his local after molesting male drinkers with plunger. He’s a damn nuisance said the landlord; he can’t keep the thing away from the boys. I’d love to hear a camp EXTERMINATE, might frighten the children though? It’s a ‘personality disturbance’ involving incorrect use of said appendage, bit like humans eh? I say lock him in the cupboard, he shouldn’t have come out in the first place.

She prepares to get off at Finchley road, “I’ve got seconds to live, you can’t go now. But if you go furious angels will bring you back to me”. But she does, “She turned for one last look, She looked me in the eye, I said, I Love You... Good-bye”. I lose her in the platform crowd, thank goodness for furious angels.

Man appears in court on serial race hate charge. David Camp of Uxbridge, Middlesex, was caught on CCTV over a period of two months looking at Asian ladies on the metropolitan line. He pleaded, “Won’t do it again”, yeah right. Well I'll try and get it down from a 600% increase.

“You see a bunch of assholes that live in this part of the building here, could we systematically remove them like you would any kind of termite, roach or Bakri”. – Tool, Opiate.

“Oxford Street, 7.15 the sun blazing down the road creating silhouettes of early morning people. Girls that gap between the legs is not attractive, skirts required for stick insects please. The Selfridges window display is fab and worth a visit, Mrs Wallaces everywhere, developing art display on the corner of Orchard and Oxford is really catchy. I can’t for the life of me see why for the D&G pin striped suit extra-small is displayed (that’s effeminate size). They, D and G, are not together anymore, would you trust those two to make a mans suit? I read this morning that fury greets erect nipples TV advert, a female mannequin gets aroused after ride in car, I need to tune into ITV from time to time. I catch my reflection in a window, my Borsalino is looking a bit worn and ooharr’y. Size 60 D&G that’s a proper head.

Tanning boards out early, is it so one can go for a little top up before the morning board meeting? Jimmy Choos have Kinky boots in window and no queue awaiting me. I’ll have to try an alternative chat up, ‘Kinky boots for shag’? Well goes without saying really.

CD 150805